Run & Grind

   Morning Running Log | Runner's Dilemma No. 5 Please. Just Rain. Tomorrow's forecast: rain. "Alright." "Nothing I can do about that." "Guess I can't run tomorrow." The gift of a guilt-free rest day. I fell asleep feeling pretty good about the whole thing. · · · Early morning. Eyes crack open. First thing I do: listen. Is it raining...? I look out the window. Please. Come on. ... Oh no. A light drizzle. ... "Maybe if I take long enough putting on my running gear, it'll turn into a proper downpour..." ... · · · I wonder when the day will come when I actually want to run. When I'm so excited, so eager, so ready to go — that nothing could stop me.

    Morning Running Log | Runner's Dilemma No. 4 The Sound I Didn't Plan For This was back when I'd just started running. My wife and I were jogging along at an easy pace when another runner came up from behind and passed us. And then — Pffft ~~~ My wife didn't miss a beat. "Seriously. How rude." I agreed completely. "I know. Couldn't they have waited until they were a little further ahead?" · · · A few years passed. I was running alone when the feeling arrived. A couple was running just ahead of me. Just get past this couple first. I passed them. Casually. Like nothing was happening. A little further. Just a little more. That should be enough. ... Pffft ~~~ ... ...oh no. It was louder than expected. · · · In that moment, I thought of that runner from years ago. "Maybe they were hoping for something quieter too."

  Morning Running Log | Runner's Dilemma No. 3 I Shouldn't Have Passed There's a strange moment that happens when you run. You spot someone up ahead, running at roughly your pace. And for no real reason — you want to catch them. · · · The gap starts to close. Should I go for it? Not yet. How are the legs? Breathing okay? Body check — still warming up. Just a little closer. Just a little more. Here we go. Drift left. Keep the breathing quiet — can't let it show. Arms easy, like this is totally normal. Pass complete. · · · But here's the thing. I can't slow down now. The moment I ease up, they'll know. "He pushed to get past me." So I keep going. Running harder than I need to. Much harder than I need to. Face: falling apart. Back: effortlessly cool. "This is just my normal pace." Running my own little performance. · · · 1km. That should be enough. I glance ...

    Morning Running Log | Runner's Dilemma No. 2 The Cheer I Never Said Out Loud When I run with my club, it happens naturally. Another group comes toward us from the other direction. Someone calls out first. "Keep going!" And just like that, they call back. "You too — keep going!" It lifts something in me every time. · · · Running alone is different. A runner comes toward me — you can tell at a glance they've been out here a long time. The pace, the form, the look on their face. Inside: 'Keep going.' My mouth stays shut. · · · Then there are the days I pass someone who's really struggling. You can see it on their face. Today is one of those days. The kind where just finishing is the whole point. Inside: 'Just a little more... you've got this.' My mouth stays shut again. · · · It would only take one slightly awkward moment. Just open your mouth. Say it. Somehow, that's ...

    Morning Running Log | Runner's Dilemma No. 1 What a Petty Guy My wife hurt her leg. Before that, we ran together every evening. Anyang-cheon, 5km. Some nights 7. On good nights, 10. Now we walk. · · · By the third evening of walking, I felt it. A quiet frustration building up. It was around 10pm. My wife was in the kitchen making a late-night snack for our eldest. I was hanging up the laundry. And then, out of nowhere, the thought arrived. "We walked again tonight. Another run missed." I let a little of it show. Then poured myself a beer and sat alone. · · · As the mood settled, a line I'd heard somewhere came back to me. "Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." — Helen Keller And here I was — getting frustrated over walking alongside one person. What a petty guy. · · · Tomorrow, I'll walk half a step behind her.